10 things I thought I'd never do
Divorce is a journey that extends far beyond the date your papers are signed and your decree is issued. There is a lot of healing to be done and logistical life changes to be faced, but there's more to the process than just changing your address and legal marital status.
Divorce creates an opportunity to embark on an amazing journey of self-love and discovery. We now have the freedom to embrace this unexpected yet welcomed opportunity to become the version of ourselves we always dreamed we could become. With this "second chance" we also have the wisdom we gained from surviving a bad marriage or partnership to guide us in better and more fulfilling directions.
The life I live now is one that I never could have dreamed of living while I was married. While the freedom to make my own choices is incredible, the time and space I've gained to use towards healing, discovering, nurturing, and embracing my truest and most authentic self is indescribable.
There were so many things I wanted to do before I had kids, but my ex-husband and I did not have goals or plans that ever seemed to align. So, in the spirit of trying to save my marriage, I abandoned many of my dreams and adopted the mindset that life can only be fun sometimes. Honestly, it got to the point where I got depressed thinking too far into the future because I couldn't see how any of it aligned with what I wanted deep down for my life.
Divorce was never on my immediate radar, so when my marriage fell apart at lightning speed, I was in a state of shock for a long time. Three years post-separation/divorce has given me a long time to reflect on and acknowledge the how's and why's of my failed marriage.
While I could go down a rabbit hole of all the red flags (in my ex-husband AND myself) that I missed, I am going to circle back to the purpose of this post which is to share some of the things I have been able to do post-divorce.
The list is growing and expanding in ways I never could have imagined, but for now I've shared a list of 10 experiences I've had post-divorce to hopefully inspire hope, courage, and excitement as you navigate your current journey.
10 things I never thought I'd do before my divorce
- Gain new friends, relationships, and colleagues
The friends I've made and people I've connected with have filled me, changed me, and inspired me in so many ways. While I may have lost my spouse, the remarkable relationships I've gained help to fulfill me in a way that he never could have (and that's no shame on him). - Travel more often
So far my post-divorce travel list includes New Orleans, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Dallas, Chicago, Charleston, Fort Worth, Washington DC, and more. I can't wait to see how my 2025 travel list takes shape! - Commit to therapy
Prioritizing therapy has changed my life. I truly believe (and will shout it to the rooftops too) that taking care of yourself is one of the best ways to give back to your loved ones and the world. When we are functioning at our best (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc), we have the capacity to do and give so much more to the world. - Attend a reiki session
I attended my first reiki session this week and I am still blown away by how incredible it was. For those of you who are new to the term, reiki originated in Japan and focuses on healing energy within your body.
Admittedly, before divorce, I was pretty close-minded about a lot of things and I know that reiki never would have been on my radar, but I am so thankful that I am now open to it and its amazing benefits. - Get a tattoo
I believe I actually uttered the words "I'd never get a tattoo" in a former life. Never say never right? - Get a massage at the Four Seasons
I never would have dreamed of spoiling myself in such an extravagant way while married. Read more about this experience and milestone celebrations. - Go camping
The jury is out on whether or not I would do this again, but I am grateful that I was able to rough it for 2 nights and still be able to enjoy myself. - Start a support group
In November of 2023, Bethany and I were chatting and somehow we had the crazy idea to start a local support group that we later named Sincerely, Divorced. And now here we are. - Invest in a boudoir session
If you want to feel empowered, beautiful, sexy, and all the fun things, consider a boudoir session. You don't have to do it for anyone other than yourself. - Embark on a new and exciting spiritual journey
Crystals, full moon intentions, tarot cards, and chakras are things that the BD (before divorce) version of me would have been highly suspicious of and quite frankly pretty uncomfortable with exploring. But, the PD (post-divorce) version has become curious and open to experiencing spirituality in new ways that have remarkably and incredibly altered my life.
Everyone's post-divorce journey is going to be different based on the resources, tools, experiences, and support that is available to them. But the beautiful part of all of this is how much life there is to be lived and experienced.
What are some things you've done post-divorce that you never could have done while married? We'd love to hear about them– comment below if you want to share!