Grief & community

The term "grief" is primarily associated with the death of a loved one. However, if you've lived through or are going through a divorce, you would probably agree that the feelings associated with the end of your marriage are forms of grief too.

Not only are you mourning your relationship, but you are also mourning your ex-partner and a future you once thought you had. You may also be mourning the loss of a shared family home, friends you made while married, traditions you once shared together, and a variety of other tangibles and intangibles. If you are a parent, not having your children reside with you full-time is a brutal loss that is complex for both parents and kids.

Divorce is isolating by nature and is harder when the people around you are uncomfortable with and/or are clueless about how they can support you. This type of grief, disenfranchised grief, occurs when a person feels like their grief is not recognized, understood, or validated by loved ones and/or society around them. It can lead to overwhelming feelings of loneliness and heightened frustration.

This is why it is so critical to find a community that understands the complexities of your loss. The road would have been so much harder if I had not had Bethany to lean on for support. Although the stigma of divorce is lessening, it can still be a barrier for some to find the support that they need.

We have big dreams for expanding the Sincerely, Divorced community. While we are busy building, we encourage you to seek out community for yourself and we've compiled a list of ways you can do this even if you aren't local to our in-person events.

Ways to join our community:

1. Attend one of our virtual coffee meet-ups. We meet on the first Saturday of the month.
2. Join our (free) private Facebook group. Group members actively swap advice, support, and encourage one another.
3. Subscribe to our mailing list. We send weekly "Hope Notes" and alert subscribers of events, webinars, and engagement opportunities.

Other recommendations for finding community:

1. Check local churches for divorce-related support groups.
2. Join Meet-Up to learn about local events or seminars related to divorce that may be happening in your area.
3. Search Facebook for divorce support groups. There are so many out there (aside from ours!).

Please know you are not alone. There is a community waiting for you. ♡

Additional resources:

• Bethany's reflection on divorce grief
• "Will My Grief Ever End?", Psychology Today
• "All About Disenfranchised Grief", PsychCentral
• "Grieving in Community", HuffPost