What's right & wrong about how employers deal with divorce

It may or may not come as a surprise that employers are susceptible to advancing the stigma of divorce through the way they perceive and consequently treat employees who are navigating it.

Many human resources departments often profess to be the center of employee care and development, yet when it comes to divorce—a life transition that is second only to the death of a spouse—there is barely a mention of the bereavement and impact that a relationship loss like divorce can have.

What employers do wrong

Imagine a supervisor—upon hearing that you need to adjust your work schedule because you no longer have a partner who can assist with picking up your child because they died—deciding to lecture you about all of the prohibited ways to find flexibility your schedule. This is an appalling response by all standards of human decency, yet I've learned of countless incidents of employees encountering this response when divorce is the reason you no longer have a parter to assist with parenting responsibilities.

Employers that offer the societal knee-jerk response of ignoring that a person is getting divorced because it's more comfortable emotionally—while simultaneously celebrating weddings, babies, and retirements—need to reconsider the unintended consequences of their approach if they want to retain talent in their organizations. Taking an offensive posture and assuming that an employee's divorce is a performance issue waiting to happen only perpetuates and exacerbates the hardships and stigma of failure associated with this life transition.

A call to action for employers

My plea to employers—as someone who is still processing the good and bad of my experience navigating divorce while working full-time—is to view a divorcing employee as an opportunity to demonstrate empathy and an opportunity to see that employee to emerge as a better and stronger version of themselves. Beyond it just being the right thing to do, it's going to be better for the bottom line.

The circumstances your employee is finally free from were likely worse than anything you could've imagined—so if they were productive and contributing employees before the divorce, it's likely they will be even better after it. Further, employers who know how to support employees through a divorce not only demonstrate empathy but also strengthen organizational loyalty and morale among others.

A call to action for employees

My plea to people navigating divorce while working outside of the home—as someone who has done so in leadership roles in two different environments—is to investigate your employer's core values and then consider whether those values facilitate your contributions to the workplace in a way that supports your mental and emotional wellness. If you find that your employer doesn't have established core values, allows organizational dysfunction to run rampant, or encourages and promotes mediocre leaders, this is your sign to consider divorcing the workplace too.

What employers can do right

There are so many alternative and vastly better ways to acknowledge an employee's needs when they share that they are navigating divorce. Employers who understand the complexities of this experience (it's not what you see in the movies) and providing appropriate support can help employees navigate this challenging time while maintaining productivity and engagement in the workplace.

In addition to engaging a expert like Sincerely, Divorced to help your organization improve it's awareness and acknowledgement of the needs of employees navigating divorce, here are some practical steps to consider.

1. Foster a Supportive Work Environment

Creating an atmosphere of empathy and understanding is crucial. Employers should encourage a culture that respects employees' privacy while offering support when needed. Providing training to managers on handling sensitive situations with compassion can make a significant difference. This only works and is sustainable if your organization has a clearly stated value for and leadership that practices care and empathy.

2. Flexible Work Arrangements

During a divorce, employees may need to attend legal meetings, therapy sessions, or adjust to new childcare responsibilities. Offering flexible work hours, the option to work remotely, or temporary schedule adjustments can help employees balance their personal and professional lives more effectively. If true, assure the employee that you value their contributions and are invested in their success during this period of transition.

3. Provide Access to Counseling Services

Consider offering Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that include access to counseling services and divorce support groups. These programs can provide emotional support, legal resources, and financial counseling, helping employees cope with the mental and logistical challenges of divorce.

4. Review and Adjust Benefits

Review employee benefits to ensure they align with the needs of individuals going through divorce. Providing information on healthcare options, updating beneficiary information, and understanding the impact on retirement plans can alleviate stress during this period. Consider working with a divorce expert to develop a standalone packet of resources that employees can request and review at their own pace.

5. Promote Work-Life Balance

Encouraging employees to take time off when needed and promoting a healthy work-life balance can help them manage their emotional health. Offering paid leave, mental health days, or vacation time without stigma can make employees feel valued and supported.

6. Maintain Open Communication

While respecting privacy, maintaining open and honest communication can help employees feel comfortable discussing their needs. Supervisors should regularly ask the employee how they can support them and assert that you will use discretion in how you treat the information shared.

The bottom line is this: by (1) acknowledging the good and bad ways your organization treats employees navigating divorce, (2) helping supervisors develop appropriate empathetic responses guided by experts, (3) providing flexible interpretations of policies, (4) offering discrete access to resources, and (5) fostering a supportive culture through organizational and peer support, employers can help employees navigate this challenging life transition more smoothly, benefiting both the individual and the organization.