Protecting your safety in divorce
According to research, the risk of violence is significantly elevated around the time of requesting a divorce, with the peak occurring in the year prior to the legal separation.
Because period between January and March is the first time of the year when separations and divorce filings begin to peak, creating a safety plan and being aware of/sharing safety resources is particularly important--even when you think that everything is civil.
According to research, the risk of violence is significantly elevated around the time of requesting a divorce, with the peak occurring in the year prior to the legal separation, and then generally declining afterwards; studies often show women are particularly at risk during this period, especially if they have children with their partner.
The perceived loss of control in a divorce could be all a potentially abusive partner needs to push them over the edge. Warning signs that a spouse may become abusive include the following: becoming increasingly untrusting, and constantly questioning you about your activities; hurling insults and accusations of behaviors on your part which may or may not be true; making verbal threats; stalking or harassing phone; and stealing or destroying physical property.
Creating a safety plan
A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan to improve your safety while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave an abusive situation, or after you leave.
- Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text “START” to 88788) for assistance from a trained advocate. Remember to protect your digital privacy when using the hotline.
Protecting your physical safety
Living with a physically abusive partner can make it especially hard to identify or create opportunities to leave. Because you can’t leave as easily, safety planning while living with an abusive partner is even more important.
- Safety planning while living with an abusive partner
- Safety planning with children
- Safety planning during pregnancy
- Safety planning with pets
Protecting your emotional safety
Emotional safety looks different for different people, but planning for your emotional safety is ultimately about developing a personalized plan that helps you feel accepting of your emotions and decisions when dealing with abuse.
- Emotional safety planning
- Emotional safety planning with children
Leaving the relationship
The moment of leaving a long-term relationship can happen quickly or can be the result of years or months of planning. Either way, it takes an immense amount of courage, planning, and precaution against the risk of violence.