Reframe the new year

While so many want us to scramble and proclaim that a new version of ourselves will arrive when the calendar says it’s a new year, we have three tips for reclaiming and reframing the well-worn “new year, new you” narrative.

1. Normalize your own timing.

The world wants us to hit control-alt-delete on Jan 1, but we want to remind you that you have the power to pick a random day in August for your fresh start. The day I filed for divorce is the day I chose a new way of being, and the timing has been perfect. Typically, the “fresh start” is a long-time in the making that others don’t see. Preparing for my fresh start included muffling my crying in my bathroom, sticking motivational post-it notes on the inside of my medicine cabinet, and daring to imagine what life without being called derogatory names could be like. It took a few years to get to the beginning of my fresh start, and now each day that I live without the burden of a toxic marriage feels like I’m turning a new page.

2. Modify the narrative.

Swap the prevailing narrative of a “new you” with choosing the “you that you are.” Everything you need is inside of you, even if others have told you that it isn’t or you can’t see it for yourself (yet). When we choose ourselves, we begin to dismantle dysfunction, suffocate self-doubt, and pursue the peace we deserve. Choosing ourselves means that we are better for the people we love because we love ourselves.

3. Play the long game.

An hour, day, month, and year are all finite measurements of time that our minds use to organize our lives. They can be useful constructs in some ways, but not when it comes to healing and other non-linear life experiences. Playing the long game means embracing intentional and value-based living by identifying a framework that will sustain you for the rest of your life and far beyond the arrival of the new year.

Congratulations for navigating the challenges of the past year and arriving in the new year. Don’t allow others (or yourself) to burden you with having to undertake anything else or anything new to mark the turning of a new calendar page.