Things you can divorce

Did you know you can divorce things other than a spouse or partner?

Let’s explore this idea by starting with the dictionary definitions of divorce. Typically, we think of the term related to marriage used as a noun or verb in the following ways:

• the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body. E.g., "her divorce from her first husband; or
• to legally dissolve one's marriage with (someone). E.g., "they divorced eight years later"

Both of the above definitions are correct, yet there is another way to understand and apply the term ‘divorce’:

• to separate or dissociate (something) from something else. E.g., "we knew how to divorce an issue from an individual."

Using this definition, the things you can divorce are not limited to a spouse or partner. Here is our list of other things a person can divorce:

• Limiting mindsets: Like upper-limit thinking, conforming behaviors, and poor self-esteem
• Learned behaviors: Like living inauthentically, self-sabotage, and co-dependency
• People other than a partner: Includes toxic friends, family members, and acquaintances
• Societal expectations: About martyrdom, parenting, marriage, sexuality, etc.
• Timelines: For perceived career success, healing, decision-making, and life milestones

In our experiences, divorcing our respective spouses opened the door to this broader idea and application of divorce. Perhaps propelled by the amount of change we were experiencing and are still experiencing, other areas of our lives that needed pruning were now exposed. In exposing opportunities for leaving old mindsets and behaviors behind, we found more opportunities for healing and becoming better versions of ourselves. This, to us, is another silver lining of divorcing a spouse or partner. You have the courage to look at other things that may be preventing you from becoming the person you are meant to be.

In the moments when you are not overwhelmed by divorcing your partner, consider the other ways you might pursue new beginnings. If you are reading this as a friend of a person who is experiencing divorce, consider whether you might benefit from separating—or divorcing— something in your life (other than a partner) that might be holding you back from the glow-up you deserve.