Unintended consequences

The freedom of divorce has unintended consequences and unexpected outcomes.

I never imagined how vast the damage to everything I worked for, hoped for, and believed in would be because of divorce. The shock is partly a result of being a self-proclaimed optimist but the aftermath of divorce makes me wonder if it is a silly worldview to have in the first place.

The ways I still feel the crushing weight of this life transition two years after my divorce was final is sometimes too overwhelming to digest. 

➡ The inability to provide the things my daughters need for their continued education and development

➡ The trauma I sustained in a work environment that cared very little about the huge personal upheaval in my life

➡ The regular encounters with strangers and old “friends” who shudder and clutch their pious pearls at the mention of my divorce 

Yes, the professional, financial, and social frustrations I’ve navigated through my divorce journey are unrelenting—but so is the love of my extended family. 

Two weeks ago, my parents and my brother (who live in Colorado and Texas respectively) worked together to buy my oldest daughter a car. 🚙 Sure, I did the test-driving and paperwork at the dealership, but there is simply no way I could’ve done this for her myself.

She works very hard in college and many of her peers have had a car since high school (like I did), but the financial ruin of divorce has meant that I’ve had to choose between paying tuition and providing some of the things that I know will help her be the independent and self-sufficient young woman I have raised her to be.

I’m proud of myself and embarrassed at the same time because none of this is what I planned when I set out at the age of 26 to live happily ever after. Crawling out of the shame of divorce has meant finding peace in the things I can’t change and accepting the love of the people who always have my back. 

My parents and brother are a blessing to me every day—but the day I got to surprise my girl with a new car because of their generosity was extra special. 

With a grateful heart,

Bethany 🫶🏽

#divorce #family #parenting #noshame #morelove #lifeafterdivorce #divorcesupport #divorcerecovery