Books for healing

By Hillary Livingston

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Healing through divorce is a journey of twists and turns, victories and setbacks, among many other things.

Throughout my own journey, I read a number of books that not only helped me heal, but also helped me have hope for the future and find the silver lining in what is often perceived as one of life’s failures. There was a part of me that once believed in this narrative that I personally failed because my marriage fell apart, but these eight books (below) helped me shift my mindset, heal my pain, and look forward to a future that is brighter than ever BECAUSE of my divorce. While none of them are specifically targeted to those impacted by divorce, they are certainly applicable and can inspire anyone during any point of their lives.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle

I read this book shortly after making the decision to divorce. I consider this book my game changer because it instilled a hope in me that there was another way to live, think, and be. Doyle’s honesty and humor is easily relatable and provided me with a new goal in life…to live uncaged.

The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza

This book served as a HUGE stepping stone in unpacking the trauma that I experienced in the unraveling of my marriage as well as in identifying and understanding the toxicity that had always existed in my relationship. Mirza’s experiences felt like they could have been my own and it validated so many of the feelings that I had, but couldn’t quite identify or articulate, that so many victims of narcissist abuse have endured.

Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie

Bethany gifted me this book and I had no idea that it would have such a profound impact on me. It’s formatted as a daily meditation book in which Beattie reflects on her experiences in relationships with herself, others, and the universe. I looked forward to reading each day’s passage and I am also excited to continue this practice with Beattie’s The Language of Letting Go meditations.

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

This was the first book that I read that got me truly excited about life and the opportunities that this new chapter in my life (post-divorce) would be offering. Sincero is extremely witty, relatable, and hilarious. This book is such a fun and empowering read that will make you want to tackle every goal you’ve ever set and believe in yourself throughout the process. I went on to read Sincero’s You are a Badass at Making Money and You are a Badass Every Day, which are both equally humorous and uplifting.

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne Stabile

This was another book given to me by a good friend who knew I had an interest in learning more about the enneagram. I’ve always been intrigued by personality assessments, but I’ve found the enneagram to be incredibly accurate and insightful with room for fluidity that many other personality typing systems lack. Since reading this and figuring out my type (I was shocked at how easy it was to discern), I’ve gone on to read Suzanne Stabile’s The Path Between Us and Cron’s The Story of You to dive even deeper into understanding my type and how that understanding can help me improve my relationships, identify my strengths and blindspots, and achieve my goals.

101 Essays that Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Weiss

This book has been an incredibly eye-opening and inspirational read that has truly shifted my mindset on so many things in life. Weiss’s way of explaining and dissecting common truths, and challenging society’s prescribed narratives is poetic and awe-inspiring and will most certainly change the way you think (no pun intended).

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

I can’t say enough good things about this book. I had no idea how codependent I was in my marriage and how that carried over into most of my other relationships. Beattie’s way of explaining complex and often overlooked and/or repressed feelings experienced by those with codependent tendencies provides readers with a sense of validation, clarity, and hope that there is another way to live that puts you back in control of your life.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

I purchased this book on a whim after it was recommended to me on Amazon. It’s an incredibly quick and easy read (I read it in its entirety in one sitting) that leaves you with a feeling that a happy and peaceful life is possible and it’s much easier than we realize. I find myself reflecting on Ruiz’s agreements, which are based on ancient Toltec teachings, throughout my daily life in order to reframe and surrender much of the anxiety that results from trying to control life’s outcomes (that are very much out of our control).

Reading books, like the ones referenced in this post, isn’t necessarily a prescription for recovery. But, these books can certainly serve as beacons to shed light on different ways of thinking and living. The lessons they share can ultimately empower you to keep going and provide tools and hope for embracing your new chapter, if you let them.

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