Choosing an expert
By Bethany Pace
In a world that is cluttered with overwhelming amounts of divorce advice and information about co-parenting and related topics, we are committed to sharing information and resources in relatable and easily digestible formats.
To this end, we thought we’d start with questions to ask a coach, therapist, or expert before paying them to help you navigate separation, divorce, or co-parenting. Let’s face it—divorce is an industry and there are plenty of people out there who want to capitalize on our vulnerabilities and appetite for information. While many divorce professionals are highly trained and seasoned, many may not have the qualifications to back up their claims of being able to help you.
The following questions are meant to help you make an informed decision about who will comprise your divorce support team. This includes an attorney, a therapist, a coach, or a consultant.
1. Ask for a license number.
The coaching industry is currently unregulated but you can verify that someone holds a current professional license granted by your state, is in good standing with professional boards, is permitted to practice law (note: a J.D. is not a licensed attorney), or is a member of legitimate professional organizations. Verify this information for anyone claiming to be a therapist, social worker, or legal expert especially.
2. Ask about areas of specialization.
Assess your needs as it relates to the nuances of your circumstances. Experts with special knowledge in areas like same-sex relationships, neurodivergence, faith, and cultural traditions, etc. exist and will help ground your decision-making. Choosing someone who possesses additional competencies beyond the knowledge of divorce and related areas will also impact the quality of both your experience and the overall outcomes.
3. Ask for a discovery call or consultation.
Don’t let the number of followers or likes determine whether the person you are considering hiring is an expert and has a track record of success and achieving results. Request a brief free session with the person to ask questions that will help you understand their preparation, qualifications, and philosophy or approach with clients. Check out our printable for 10 questions to ask a prospective expert.
4. Ask for verified reviews or a referral.
A testimonial screenshot isn’t enough. Review the prospective expert’s website, LinkedIn profile, and reviews to get a sense of their typical client. Ensure their success stories and testimonials are verified and from one-on-one clients, not from someone who simply took a free course or follows them on social. Better yet, ask a trusted friend or colleague for a referral.
There are so many factors to consider when hiring a person to assist you with ending a long-term intimate partnership, but our best advice is to trust your gut when identifying sources of support and expertise. Finally, never be afraid to walk away when you feel pressured.
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